


All To Myself

by Sigery97



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A bit random, Alien anatomy, All 4 quadrants included, Bulges and Nooks, Grubs, Karkat is a bit of a scared little bitch, M/M, Sort of au after cannon, relationships, sober!Gamzee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-29 19:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigery97/pseuds/Sigery97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seems Gamzee snapped. He has killed everyone but Karkat. But why did he kill them? And why is he cuddling with Karkat? And who is that very cool guy showing up in his head (where he is keeping the 14 heads of the others' he killed/who died) room? What is Karkat dreaming about? Find out all the answers to these questions and more... when I decide to tell you in this story xD</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WTF Gamzee!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first sole Homestuck story (been working on a few co-writes with girlfriend) and I am decently proud of it.
> 
> This follows the cannon kind of up to Gamzee's first rage (that Karkat calms him in) then it kind of takes a course with me since I hadn't gotten past that part of the story when I first started this. so bother with me
> 
> Umm please enjoy I guess xD

Run. Running. My feet pounded against the hard floor as I ran for my fucking life. I thought everything was fine again. He had been so relaxed and lazy again, like he was really back to normal. We had all decided to forget what he did, the trolls he killed in his rage. But now everyone was dead. I was the only one left other than him. I was next. The final victim. But I couldn’t die laying down. So I am running and trying to hide from the horrible honking, jumping at every noise and fighting the transparent red at my eyes. The honking that will bring the end of my life.

\--- (change to 3rdish person view... lot of Gamzee’s thoughts though)

The tall troll walked slowly down the hall. Blood dripped from his fingertips from his previous victims. He had painted the walls with miracles. The meteor was empty except for him and his best bro. All 14 heads of his other friends were lined up in the main room. “Karkat!” he called, his loud voice echoing through the empty home around him. When he got no reply, his purple eyes narrowed and he growled. “KARKAT!” he yelled again, starting to get mad again.

The troll only wished his bro to come out again and he was motherfucking hiding from him. It made the voices scream and demand the bright mutant blood. The color that would complete his mural. So what that he already drained the 4 humans’ red blood, it wasn’t as beautiful or miraculous as his moirail’s shade of bright candy red. He calmed himself a bit, Karkat was just a little scared of blood, not of him. That’s why the small, adorable troll was hiding, because of the blood, not because he feared his moirail. The voices took the answer from the tall troll with a few more mutters of distaste.

He turned away from the hall, walking over to the row of heads. He lined them up by blood color. He picked up the head of his bro he once had a deep-seated flush crush on. The head of the bro who rejected his red feelings. “Yo Tavbro, you have any idea where Karbro might be hiding?” he asked, holding the head in both hands at the base. Of course the dead couldn’t talk back so he got no response. He set the head back in its head in the lineup. He repeated his question to all the heads in a loud booming half growl. Still no response to his question.

The tall troll growled again, standing to his full height. The dead wasn’t gonna help him find his scared bro, so he would go looking again. The thought of leaving his clubs here crossed his mind, but he decided to keep them in case Karkat attacked in a jumpy reaction to being found in his scared state. He left the room again, calling the small troll’s name over and over.

He searched for a while, getting madder and madder with each passing moment. The voices were trying to use his anger to make him rampage and destroy everything. He was tempted to, but he didn’t want to accidently hurt Karkat since he had no idea where the other was. He clenched his fists, breathing a few times to yell at the voices and calm himself. He didn’t want to be mad when he found his moirail, because he didn’t want to accidently hurt him or scare him. He continued his search, finally finding a trace of the smaller troll. A dropped sickle on the floor.

The tall troll continued on from where the sickle had been. He heard a soft noise from a nearby room. It sounded like a muffled sob followed by some sniffing and slightly ragged breath. He peeked into the room, grinning when he saw Karkat. It didn’t matter that he looked like a mess or was shaking, his precious moirail would be safe in his arms soon.

The smaller troll’s head snapped up at the sound of footsteps entering the room. His wet eyes widen at the sight of him. His insane moirail, covered with blood and a grin aimed at him. The taller walked forward, Karkat backed up, quickly meeting the wall and finding no way to escape. He opened his mouth to yell at the insane troll when he was grabbed. His bloodpumper stopped for a minute as he thought he would die, only to be hugged tightly. He stiffened at the rumbling purr coming from the killer holding him. “FINALLY FOUND YOU KARBRO,” the purple blood purred in his ear, nuzzling him softly. Karkat was frozen, fear echoing through his thinkpan as he tried to figure out what was going on.

The smaller troll finally regained himself enough to shove the other’s chest to free himself from the long arms. He almost immediately regretted the decision as his moirail looked down at him with sudden darker looking eyes. The voices in the purple blood’s head screamed to splatter the bright blood and paint beautiful miracles with it. He yelled at them to shut up, he wouldn’t, couldn’t harm Karkat. He was all he had left. All he wanted anymore. He would give up all the blood and miracles in the universes just to keep Karkat, that’s how deep he wanted the small mutant all for himself.

He dropped into a crouching position, grabbing Karkat’s wrist gently. The miracle looked down at his long fingers wrapped around the tiny wrist. His lips quivered slightly as his protein chute went dry as a desert. He was gently guided to move into the taller’s arms once more. The blood covered troll sat down, leaning against the wall with his arms around Karkat who now sat silently in his lap. The red blood didn’t dare to move as the other burrowed his face into his hair with a renewed purr. “You are safe Karbro, relax,” the taller frowned.

He looked down at the small troll on his lap who was staring back with nervous, wide eyes. The taller leaned down, lapping up the tears in his moirail’s eyes and on his cheeks. He purred a bit louder to bring comfort to the other. Karkat only flinched, trying to close his eyes. That made the other freeze, staring. “KARBRO?” The red blood flinched again at the sound of his voice, trying not to shake. “Look at me,” the taller half demanded. The mutant slowly moved to look up at the purple blood’s face.

Karkat didn’t know what was going on till his back hit the floor hard. The insane troll hovering above him, eyes dark as his hands came back to rest on his cheeks. The smaller practically watched as that single strand of control snapped. Instead of scratching or trying to harm him like he assumed would happen, a pair of lips harshly met his own. Sharp teeth teased at his lips, biting softly but not breaking the surface or drawing blood. Karkat shivered, weather from fear or pleasure he wasn’t sure.

The red blood didn’t even try to fight the invading tongue that entered his mouth quite forcibly. The wet muscle explored and claimed all of his mouth. This kiss was rough and hot unlike the soft, little, second-lasting kisses they had shared before. This kiss was more like what a kismesis might kiss like or a violent matesprit one. Karkat suddenly felt light headed, hands shifting to try and shove the other away to breath.

Finally Gamzee pulled away, staring at Karkat’s fluttering eyes as he fought to stay awake. “KARKAT...” he stated softly. He enjoyfully saw Karkat’s cheeks turn bright red at his voice now. They sat there in silence as Karkat regained his breath. The taller watched his moirail sit up and glance at him with a soft blush. Gamzee patted his lap, waiting for his Karkat crawl on his lap. The purple blood hugged him and purred.

Karkat hesitated but purred back softly. His thinkpan raced as he simply laid there in the other’s arms. He had seen so many die by the same hands now holding him yet he felt safe and more welcomed than anywhere else with anyone else. He felt important in these arms that held him like he was the universe’s most precious treasure, the eyes that looked down at him soft with an affection past mere pity.

His cheeks filled with blood as he felt a squeeze to his butt. He quickly shifted to glare at the other, stiffening when he was kissed again. This kiss was much softer but equally heated. Karkat was quick to break the kiss, trying to pull away with a heavy blush. He unintentionally revealed his neck instead of escaping which Gamzee abused with kisses and nips, making Karkat go breathless. “S-stop,” Karkat whined. He was surprised when the taller did as asked, stopping his kisses and nips. He went back to cuddling and hugging the smaller instead. Karkat’s thinkpan went blank after a few minutes of purring cuddles. He drifted to sleep, safe in the insane murderer of a subjugglator’s arms.

 

_Karkat blinked his eyes open, trying to yawn, finding it impossible. He looked around the unfamiliar room he laid in, feeling something cold around his wrists as well as something much warmer. He shifted a bit to look up and his eyes went wide. His wrists were chained together and the cuffs were cutting into his skin, making warm blood dribble down his arms. Fear filled him as he started to shake a bit. He screwed his eyes shut again, gulping and trying to calm himself. He stiffened when he heard the door open. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see the purple blood._

_He heard a soft snort. “You look motherfucking pathetic mutant.” the voice was similar to Gamzee, but different, heavier, darker, deeper. Karkat felt his eyes open though he didn’t want them too. He saw the huge figure. He looked like Gamzee but bigger and more sinister._

_“Y9u are l99king well Grand...” Karkat heard a voice like his but a bit deeper respond._

_“AS POLITE AS EVER...” the huge troll responded, entering the room. Karkat wanted to cringe but his current body refused to do that, actually doing the opposite and sitting up a bit more._

_“Grand... are y9u g9ing t9 l99sen these cuffs 9r just make me sit here?” his body asked, he could feel the smirk upon his lips._

_“Don’t motherfucking think I’m going to be easy on you motherfucking mutant,” the other troll snarled, getting real close and glaring. Karkat’s body didn’t move at all, his eyes only continuing to stare at the other. The other pulled away, straightening with a furious growl._

_Amusement built in Karkat’s chest before he laughed softly. “Y9u can’t help 6ut g9 easy 9n me Grand. We 69th kn9w y9ur little secret.”_

_The large purple blood growled, getting close again, one hand knotting into his shirt. “QUIET YOU MU-” he didn’t get any further before to Karkat’s shock and near disgust, the body he occupied thought it would be a good idea to kiss the bigger male. His back hit the wall and the chains creaked as the larger quickly took control of the kiss. The kiss was rough, hot, painful, yet deliciously addictive. He heard a soft click and his arms dropped around the taller’s neck. His feet barely brushed the other’s waist while kissing him. “You are playing a dangerous game mutant... you know that?” the loud voice snorted._

_“Yes. I kn9w Grand.”_

_Their lips locked again in another passionate battle, a clawed hand on one of his hips. The pointed claws dug through the thin clothing and into the soft skin. The soft noise of tearing clothes echoed through the smaller’s ears as he tried to continue the kiss that was leaving him breathless. There was no warning or prep before the huge bonebulge stretched his nook to its limits. Red tears welled in his eyes as he gasped at the sudden sensation of fillment. The larger’s rough tongue licked up his tears and laughed softly at his pants but he did wait for the smaller to adjust before starting to move. The pace was fast and hard, Karkat enjoying almost as much as his body did with its calls and screams and pants._

_Everything was over much too quick for his tastes. He was laid on the ground, shivering from his shredded clothes and the cool stone floor of the dungeon. He watched the purple blood fix himself before leaving after a small, smirk to the red blood. Karkat felt exhausted and his eyes shut._

 

Red eyes shot open. He was panting softly from the dream he just had. He felt something warm behind him, encasing him and making soft noises as the other slept. Karkat squirmed a little, turning around to face the other. Gamzee’s eyes were closed and he looked at peace. His hair was a huge mess, flung all over, hanging in his face and around the pillow under his head. The small troll noticed they weren’t sleeping on the floor, rather in a human styled bed with sheets and pillows. The bed was huge but they only took up about a 1/3 since they were cuddled so close. The red blood thought about sleeping so more, but he was nervous that he would end up there again. He tried to shift out of Gamzee’s arms only to be pulled tighter to the other’s chest. “Kar...” the taller whimpered. Karkat sighed, getting comfortable in the other’s arms. He couldn’t leave him like this.

He laid there in the Gamzee’s arms, silently, letting the other sleep and cuddle with him. No matter what the purple blood did, Karkat couldn’t ever really hate him, couldn’t ever leave his side. He was alive and that was enough reason to stay with Gamzee. “I’M SORRY...” he heard the taller half scream. Karkat moved Gamzee’s arms to shift to see his face. The other was starting to cry and whimper more. Karkat hesitated but started to lap up the tears (thankfully Gamzee had washed his makeup off last night before he went to sleep) and kiss the other’s face softly to comfort him.

Gamzee quieted a bit from the affections before his eyes slid open. He saw Karkat and quickly captured the other’s lips in a feverish kiss. Karkat let him in surprise. The kiss broke a moment later, Gamzee hugging the smaller tightly. Karkat shushed him and hugged him back, feeling the wet tears on his shoulder. Karkat pulled the taller’s head up so they were eye to eye, or as close as they could get to that. “...Did you have a horror terror?” he asked.

Gamzee nodded at him, wiping his eyes. “About?” Karkat pressed. This time Gamzee looked away, refusing to meet the other’s eyes. “Gamzee!” the smaller growled.

“... I killed you.” Gamzee whispered, sniffing. Karkat went silent, staring at him. “I killed you. I was alone. I didn’t have you anymore. I wanted to die but I couldn’t do it, I only healed with every wound! I couldn’t follow you Karkat, I needed you! My body lived and lived but I was dead on the inside without you Kar,” Gamzee was breathing heavily, eyes wide and tears streaming down his cheeks. Karkat broke his stare and hugged the other tightly, shushing him. Gamzee burrowed his face in the other’s raven colored hair, trying to stop his tears. They stayed like that for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please no one kill me over The Sufferer's actions... he's been there for a while and I guess likes to fuck with GHB's mind xD
> 
> Yay for the GamKar fluff
> 
> Hope you liked it? Please drop me a kudos or whatever they call it here and bookmark if you liked. And if you have a minute to spare, give me a review please?


	2. Dreaming about Grubs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens... Emotional, fluff, sex, more fluff-ishness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Strider abuse as well as troll sex (this including some biting, bulge licking, nook licking, and bulge in nook sex) =3 and possibly adorableness

A blonde rolled to the floor with a soft groan of pain. He barely made it out of that with all of his limbs attached. It scared him, not that he would ever reveal that to anyone though. He had been in a panic, and wasn’t sure where exactly he traveled to or if he went backwards or forward. “Dave?” the blonde tried not to snap his head up with his jittering nerves. He glanced up, surprised to see John in front of him. “Are you okay?” the black haired human continued, a pair of hands coming to help him up.

Dave was about to shrug off the hands before realizing he couldn’t move his right shoulder. He looked at it to find it bleeding and dislocated. The clown had gotten him harder than he first thought. John helped him up, pulling him from the hall he had landed in. They entered a room, everyone was in here, including a Dave. “What the fuck, another dave?! Karkat growled.

Dave scanned the room for something to give him a relative timeframe. From the clothes, it was probably shortly after the humans arrived here. He noticed Gamzee staring at him and nearly flinched. No one in the room seemed to notice his nervousness as he tried to keep his cool appearance except for the other Dave who knew something was wrong. “Well he’s hurt,” John put in.

“So what? It’s probably his own fucking fault he’s hurt, one fucking dave is enough,” Karkat snapped.

“Chill,” Dave stated. John helped the blonde sit down on the couch before going to get some bandages to wrap the wound. “So what are you doing here? And how did you get the lame wound?” the other Dave asked. The rest of his message was clear ‘Daves aren’t supposed to meet up with other Daves.’

The future Dave opened his mouth to speak when he suddenly felt an explosion of pain in his shoulder. He could feel the blood flowing more and spilling out of his wound at an insane rate. He wanted to scream at the horrible pain, but it was stuck in his throat, unable to escape. He felt blood building up around his eyes, bleeding out. “Dave?” John called. The bleeding blonde fell forward, collapsing to the floor. His shades fell off, revealing his glowing pink eyes. The blood continued to spill out of his body from the wound on his shoulder and his eyes like an oil spill in water. “Dave!” John half screamed, rushing over to his side.

Everyone stared at the dying blonde with wide eyes and slacked jaws. The blood on the ground seemed to move to spell out a message. “STUPID MOTHERFUCKING HUMAN. You thought you could just use your little trick and get away? STUPIDER THAN I THOUGHT, STRIDER.”

In Dave’s last moment of life, he let a single tear slide down his cheeks, one he didn’t even release when his brother died. A tear for the friends he failed to save.

\--- (Sorry you died Dave, but this is GamKar so I don’t really care for you at the moment, sorry xD)

Karkat was sitting on the floor in the corner of the main room. Gamzee was on his stomach, talking to the heads and trying to encourage Karkat to do the same. Karkat felt kind of sick, wanting to throw up at the sight of the heads of all his friends and less friends. Gamzee finally noticed the other’s discomfort, moving over to grab him. He carried Karkat out of the room, closing the door. He walked back to their bedroom, sitting Karkat on the bed. The smaller just stared at him. The purple blood cupped his cheeks. “Kar?”

The red blood tried to pull away, starting to scowl. “Leave me alone,” he half growled.

“...No,” the purple blood growled back, starting to kiss his neck, making the smaller blush a bright red and try to pull away. Gamzee continued his assaults till he finally got the smaller to give in, moaning softly. The taller smiled, purring softly. He kept his hands on the smaller’s cheeks who glared to the side with a heavy blush. “Now will you tell me what’s wrong?” Gamzee asked.

“... It’s just us two... I can’t be alone with just you... fuckass...” Karkat responded. The purpleblood hugged him tightly, nuzzling him softly. The redblood sighed softly, letting the other do as he liked. He felt a tugging at his mind and a sudden sleepiness. He fell asleep, held close to his moirail’s chest.

 

Gamzee had found a bunch of romcoms and put them in a stack near the TV. Then he gathered some sweets, a few blankets, and a couple boxes of tissues. His moirail was feeling bad, alone with only him so he was going to make him feel better with some overdramatic, cliche romcoms. Karkat loved those and knew most of them by heart, but loved to watch them again and again anyway.

He waited till Karkat woke up and they had breakfast before kidnapping the redblood to the room where he set everything up in. The smaller looked surprised at it. Gamzee set him on the couch, giving him the blanket and starting the first movie on the stack before curling up with him on the couch with the blanket around them. The redblood even gave him a soft smile as he settled against him to watch the movie.

Karkat ended up in tears about halfway through the movie with his face now firmly pressed in Gamzee’s chest as the purpleblood soothingly petted his head. After a little bit, Karkat went back to watching the movie, but that wasn’t the last time he ended up in his moirail’s lap during their marathon.

 

_“Hello!” the redblood called. He was sitting in the darkness, eyes trailing all around him for something, anything. His eyes focused on two bright red shapes far in the darkness. He could hear soft noises from them, noises of distress and fear. His eyes went wide when he realized the shapes were grubs, bright red grubs of his color. Karkat tried to run to them, to save the scared little grubs, probably his descendants. But the more he ran, the further they seemed to get. His eyes went wide at what he saw next._

He jolted up with teary eyes. He covered his eyes, trying to hold back his tears as he felt a comforting presence press to his back. “Kar?” The redblood surprised the taller when he turned and hid his face in his shirt. The purpleblood frowned, patting his head and hugging him. He continued to comfort him as the redblood shook softly, trying to hold himself together. Gamzee gave it a little thought before he tilted the other’s head back and kissed him softly, trying to comfort him. He got another surprise when Karkat kissed back, hard.

After a few minutes the kiss broke, Karkat blushing and apologizing only to be flattened to the bed as Gamzee kissed him again. He gasped and squirmed under him, but his thinkpan itself blurred and fuzzed from how dominating the kiss was. His hands were held at either side of his head, their fingers intertwined and his own grip was tight and bruising. The taller completely dominated his mouth, letting his tongue explore hungrily.

He quickly pulled away, when Karkat made a loud noise thinking he had hurt the smaller. Instead what he saw surprised him. The small troll was flushed, breath heavy and eyes half-lidded. “KAR?” he asked. Karkat only pulled one of his hands free and reached up to tug him back down. The taller laid down next to him, kissing his cheek softly. Karkat kissed him again, the kiss needy and urgent. The purpleblood let the other do as he wanted, encouraging him gently. The kiss was soon heated, Karkat seeming to try to be tempting him to dominate it like he had been doing by nipping and tugging. Gamzee kept refusing to dominate it, letting the redblood have complete control. When the kiss broke again Karkat spoke. “Kiss me like you did...” he mumbled, face darkening.

“...I might hurt you...” Gamzee refused.

“No you won’t...” the smaller troll whispered.

The purpleblood looked away, knowing how thin his control was.

“Please... please...” Gamzee recaptured his lips, just to stop the other’s voice but he didn’t press the kiss much. Karkat’s free hand tugged firmly at his hair, desperately trying to get him to do what he’d asked. Gamzee tried to continue refusal, though his control was slowly breaking. When he slowly settled his weight down on top of the small troll he felt the mutant gasp and squirm. The purpleblood ran his fingers down the shivering troll’s sides.

“Gam... gamzee...”

Gamzee started to kiss at his throat, trying to please his moirail without losing his control over his gentle touches.

“Gamzee please...”

“PLEASE WHAT?” the purpleblood asked.

“Please, please, I need you...”

Gamzee’s mind went blank. Karkat needed him? What could bring such an... oh... they were about that age and Karkat was probably experiencing what trolls called heat, probably brought on by age and being in such close contact with Gamzee for the past few days. The taller troll kissed him again, slowly pulling his shirt up before dipping his head to kiss and nip the bare chest. He heard his moirail moan softly, both hands now digging into his thick hair. Gamzee started to purr softly, vibrating the chest below his lips. Karkat's hands were now clinging to his shirt, tugging and pulling at it.

Gamzee gave a sharp nip to the redblood’s stomach. The smaller’s legs spread at that and he gasped. Gamzee nipped him a few more times, lapping up the soft trickle of blood produced. Then he went lower, half ripping Karkat’s pants off and dumping the shreds to the side. The mutant tried to close his legs for a moment before he widened them again, tugging him down slightly. The purpleblood started to kiss the unsheathed bulge, giving it slow licks. Karkat shuddered heavily, moaning loudly. The taller smirked darkly before taking the tip in his mouth and sucking gently. The mutant cried out. “Like it Karkat,” the voice was low and almost a purr. One hand trailed up, tracing the outside of the redblood’s nook. Karkat’s hips bucked and he cried out again, legs trembling. “KARKAT?” Gamzee repeated, moving his lips from his bulge to his nook, lapping at the growing wetness.

“Gamzee!” Karkat called and gasped sharply, bucking his hips again. The purpleblood purred at the noise, dipping his tongue inside the nook inches from him.

“Ah! Gam-gamzee, more,” Karkat nearly begged, trying to tug him even closer. Gamzee’s eyes shined with a dark light, having Karkat at his mercy like this... excited him.

“D-do something... please, please... u-use your bulge I-I don't care!" This time Karkat did beg him. Any control the purpleblood still held snapped. His pants were gone in a second and his bulge was inside Karkat. It caused the small troll to cry out in both pain and pleasure, his hands flying to his mouth and his legs locking around the other’s hips. The taller grinned darkly, assaulting the smaller’s neck, giving many possessive markings Karkat would screech about when he was more level headed. His pace was hard and fast, and red was dripping down both of their thighs, and he couldn’t tell if it was blood or something else.

By the time they both came, Gamzee filling Karkat and breaking something trolls weren’t supposed to break, and Karkat’s neck and chest was covered with love markings and Gamzee had some harsh claw markings on his back. The mutant was limp, arms slung over the other’s shoulders and claws still embedded in his back. He was flushed and panting, mouth open slightly. Gamzee purred loudly, still inside the other as he laid them down. Karkat managed to nuzzle into his neck, slowly pulling his claws out of his back and tucking them close to his own body. Gamzee licked his moirail softly, eyes falling closed. Karkat’s breathing slowed till he fell asleep, the purpleblood waiting for that before following.

 

Karkat blinked his eyes open, only to see gray. He scowled slightly before feeling a pain in his lower regions and all over his neck. He groaned, screwing his eyes shut and trying to shift only to find something holding him close, something deep in his nook making it impossible to pull away. Gamzee woke to Karkat half screeching his head off, ranting up a storm, cursing almost every other word. The taller kissed Karkat gently to shush him. When he broke the kiss he got a furious glare. “What the fuck did you do to me fuckass?” the smaller snarled.

“...you were begging bro... so I listened...” The taller stated as he slowly shifted his bulge out of the redblood who stared at him with dark eyes. After a moment, he simply growled and got out of the bed. Gamzee followed him to the ablution trap as the redblood started to fix up the markings all over his neck and stomach. “Sometimes I can’t fucking believe you Gamzee,” he growled at the purpleblood.

“SORRY KAR...” Gamzee looked down at the floor.

Karkat sighed as he finished wrapping up the markings, turning and sitting on Gamzee’s lap. He cupped his face, staring at him before hugging him. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it fuckass...” he sighed. The purpleblood hugged him back with a soft purr, making the smaller feel almost safe in his arms. Gamzee carried him back to the bed, getting them some new clothes and dressing them. Karkat huffed at Gamzee’s possessiveness as he glared down at Gamzee’s shirt on his body. There wasn’t anyone to take him away from the purpleblood anyway...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take note of my extra dots xD those are there for a reason... If any of you have read my stuff before, you would know I love cliffys and twists... both will be abused here in this story =3
> 
> Thanks to my GF for helping me with the troll sex xD she's awesome like that
> 
> Anyway, be bookmark, 'kudos', and comment the shit out of this if you like it... thanks ^^
> 
> Oh and feel free to ask questions, I will try to answer =3


	3. Who's The Blonde?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens...

Gamzee was curled up in the bed with his newly defined red-rom partner (both his matesprit and moirail), the smaller asleep after a long day of dealing with the purpleblood. The taller gently moved his partner a bit so he could get out of the bed. He put a pillow in Karkat’s arms to cuddle with. The troll left the room, walking down to the main room with crossed arms and an almost pouty looking, his time interrupted with his redrom partner.

Sitting on the floor was a blonde human with triangular shades and a white shirt with an orange cap design. He was looking at Dave’s head with a slight frown. “Do you have to leave them out here like this?” he asked, glancing at the purpleblood.

“You can take the humans ones if you want them,” the taller waved off. “DID YOU DO AS I ASKED?” he added.

“Yeah. The human world is functioning well and the pre-scratches seem to think it was all a vivid dream,” the blonde nodded.

“Good. IF THAT’S ALL, YOU MAY GO.”

The blonde nodded, gathering up the human heads before simply disappearing from the room. The troll stayed where he was for a moment before heading back to his room for more cuddles with his red-rom partner.

\---

“Sorry Kar, sorry!” the purpleblood apologized over and over as the redblood smacked him with a deep scowl.

“SHUT UP YOU STUPID FUCKASS CLOWN,” Karkat snarled, hitting him again. The purpleblood just let him smack him over and over, continuing to apologize to try and get the hitting to stop. He could easily stop it with just physical strength, but he didn’t want to hurt his partner. The taller felt hands pressing on his throat and that ended it. Gamzee flipped them and pinned the redblood’s hands above his head. Karkat froze up for a second before tried to free his hands and tried to kick the other. He managed to get a hit in the stomach, making Gamzee growl softly and nip his exposed neck. The smaller gave a soft moan before trying to hit him again. With the positive effect, Gamzee nipped him again, earning another moan of pleasure. Karkat’s body went slack for a moment, making the taller feel it was safe to release him.

Seconds after, Karkat’s hands grabbed at his throat again and he started to yell again. Gamzee started to laugh this time, making Karkat yell more and louder. But Gamzee simply captured the smaller’s arms again, laying down with him and a calming purr. Karkat fought him for a few minutes before slowly giving in. They laid there together for a little while before Gamzee let the smaller out of the bed. He watched Karkat stomp off and out of the room. The purpleblood laid there for a moment with a chuckle before he realized they weren’t alone.

With a growl, Gamzee is out of the bed and out of the room in a matter of seconds to follow his red-rom (as well as a growing black-rom partner with that aggression moments ago) partner down the hall. Tracking the other was pretty easy with the scent held strong from so much cuddling and nuzzling and of course the yelling is helpful as well.

He quickly found the smaller troll, who was surprising in tears. “KAR?” Gamzee asked, approaching the other who hissed at him.

“Go away fuckass!”

The taller kneeled at his side, gently pulling the smaller onto his lap. “What’s wrong bro?” he asked quietly, hugging the redblood.

“... Just leave the fuck alone!” the smaller snapped.

The taller ignored him, gently scooping him up and starting to carry him down the hall. The redblood was oddly silent, just laying in his arms and staring at the wall. The smaller wrapped his arms around Gamzee’s neck. “KAR?” the purpleblood murmured.

“Just shut up Gamzee... please... I don’t want to talk or listen or anything... okay?”

The purpleblood nodded, kissing Karkat’s head softly. The redblood sighed, closing his eyes and just felt the comfort around him from the warm arms and the soft rumble in the taller’s chest. Gamzee carried the smaller back to their room, laying him down in their bed.

 

“G-gam...” Karkat groaned, eyes falling closed.

“MMM?” the taller purred against the back of Karkat’s neck. His arms were wrapped around the redblood’s waist and they had just woke up a little while ago but neither seemed willing to get up to start their day.

“I feel like shit.”

Gamzee frowned, kissing the other’s neck in attempt to comfort him. “Like something hurts or you just don’t feel well at all?”

“I don’t feel well and my stomach hurts.”

Karkat squeaked as Gamzee shifted and pulled his shirt up. Gamzee laid his hands on the smaller’s stomach, feeling it and giving it love through kisses and laps. The redblood slowly threaded his fingers in Gamzee’s wild hair, letting him soothe his stomach. His eyes fell closed and a soft purr rumbled from his chest at the gentle, loving touches.

\--- 

_Darkness. No light shines. Silence. Not a noise. Blood. It’s splattering the walls and making sad murals of happy rainbows. Alone. That’s all he is now, all he will be now. Now that his hands are permanently stained with his friends’ blood. He deserved a death that would never come, no matter how much he tried. He wouldn’t ever hear another voice, speak to another soul, see a smile or even a frown, feel any warmth, nothing ever._

_The tall figure laid on the floor, bright eyes closed and tears free flowing out of his eyes. He growled at nothing, rolling over to look at the wall splattered with a rainbow. The color he loved the most but made him the sickest was glaring at him from the wall, just like its bearer. It made his thinkpan pound and his eyes water more so he turned back over to hide his face from the empty room without judgement. He tried screwing his eyes shut again, but he could still see that troll like it was imprinted on his eyelids. The troll he only realized his true feelings for after killing him. He only realized his so called pale feelings stretched in the other red quadrant for his dear mutant blood moirail, Karkat fucking Vantas. His romcom loving, always angry and yelling, but soft and sensitive moirail._

_He stayed on the ground for a bit, finally stopping his crying and slowly getting up. He headed out of the room, walking down the halls. He strolled past door after door, all closed. He stopped at the open door. It led into Karkat’s old room, redesigned from a plain room to a match of his old room with romcom posters all over, a recuperation, his TV and movie player, and his desk with his husktop. Gamzee stood in the doorway, staring into the room, eyes scanning around for any defect._

_His eyes narrowed at the stack of romcoms. He could see they weren’t organized like they should be, a few were out of their alphabetic order. He growled, entering the room carefully and going to fix it. He checked all the movies to make sure it was all correct. After he finished, he stood again. He walked around the room he had memorized, looking at the posters covering the walls, the pictures of friends on the desk and near the TV, and the neat mess of blankets and pillows on the couch._

_His eyes trailed to the sickle on the floor where Karkat had left it. He moved forward, crouching and picking up the weapon. It was starting to rust with the old purple blood stained on it. It had his blood on it from when he ended his moirail’s life, the redblood slashing him after shooshpapping didn’t work. But Gamzee still ended his life, half torturing him before letting him finally die. The tall troll blinked a few times, purple drops falling to his hands and the sickle. It hurt, knowing what he did. It hurt knowing he killed his moirail, flushed crush, what he wanted to hold now so desperately._

_He dropped the sickle again, standing up straight. He wiped his wet eyes and headed back out of the room. He went back to the main room, making sure everyone was straight in the line. He took special care for the redblood’s head, playing with the raven locks. After he was sure the heads were straight and Karkat was perfect, he backed up from them. His thoughts drifted from the heads to the beings behind them._

_Every night he entered the dream bubbles but rarely found someone and when he did, they fled within seconds. The only one he hadn’t seen was Karkat, even for a second. He doubted his moirail would ever even want to see his face again after what he did. Not because he killed all those people, but because Karkat knew he had control over the voices and his sober side, had the control not to hurt anyone. But he decided to kill them anyway, his reasoning because the game was impossible to beat so he wanted to remove everyone from it. He went about it in the wrong way and without permission which was why it was a bad reason for their deaths._

_He curled in on himself, eyes on the heads as if they would move. Then he closed his eyes and went to sleep, praying to the messiahs he didn’t believe in anymore to bring him company tonight in the dream bubbles._

Purple eyes blinked open. He didn’t scream. This was merely another chapter in that story. Besides nothing would top the dream of Karkat’s torturous death. The tall troll turned over, blinking a few times at the warm but empty spot at his side. He shifted out of the bed, tracking his redrom partner to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around the smaller with a purr, making him jump. “What?” the redblood asked.

“My Karkat,” Gamzee chuckled, nuzzling him.

“Yeah yeah. Now off, I’m trying to cook,” the shorter demanded. The purpleblood backed off, planting himself against the opposite counter to watch. Karkat moved kind of stiffly, his cheeks bright red from the burning eyes on his back. “... Stop staring asshole!” Karkat snapped.

“SORRY KAR...” Gamzee’s eyes trailed up to the other’s head with a smile. Karkat scowled at him before turning back to the food again.

The food was simple and half burnt but Gamzee still ate it with a smile and purr, nuzzling the smaller he forced onto his lap. Karkat just flushed and muttered curses at him. They sat in silence for a while, curled up with each other. “Gamzee...”

“Yeah Kar?” Gamzee cracked an eye open, glancing down at the smaller.

“... Why? Why did you kill everyone?” the redblood asked, feeling the taller tense behind him.

“KAR...” Gamzee trailed off.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“If you wanna know, you gonna promise to trust me and believe the words I will spill, kay?” Gamzee stated.

“... I will trust and believe you Gamzee...” the smaller agreed.

“WHERE TO MOTHERFUCKING BEGIN...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I end there xD
> 
> This chapter is fresh off the doc... literally finished writing it a little bit ago xD
> 
> Anyway please comment, bookmark, kudos, all of that... it will make me update faster and wanna tell you all shit xD


	4. Explain Signless

Karkat sighed, curling up under the blankets. He had been put on bedrest after he passed out yesterday. He would have gotten off again with Gamzee simply following him around if he hadn't gotten sick this morning all over the floor. So he was stuck in bed, being fretted over by Gamzee. He was spoon-fed something Gamzee made (which wasn't half bad, better than what Karkat could make), carried around to get a bath and to watch a romcom in another room, and cuddled with thoroughly through the movie and back in their shared human bed.

Karkat was tired of sitting around and being carried around and treated like a human princess. Every time he tried to make a protest, Gamzee would go into an almost pouting beaten down baby barkbeast mode and Karkat would bend almost immediately. Which is why Karkat was laying in the bed with Gamzee laying behind him. Gamzee was gently kissing and nipping at his neck, listening to the quiet groans and squeaks. "Stop that Gamzee!" Karkat growled.

"SORRY KARBRO..." the purpleblood purred into his neck.

"... Gamzee, I feel fine... can I please walk around again?" the smaller asked, trying to turn over to look at the other in the eye.

"But..."

Karkat turned over and looked his partner in the eyes. Gamzee looked scared. The smaller realized how worried he must be, which is why he was making him rest because he was scared he would collapse again or throw up again or something. Gamzee cared so much which is why he tried to refuse the redblood from leaving. Karkat curled into him. "Nevermind... I can stay here..." He felt Gamzee's chest rumble with a relieved purr and cuddled with him.

_"... D9 y9u really wish me harm Grand?"_

_"What are you motherfucking going on about mutant?" the larger troll sneered._

_"I asked if y9u really want t9 hurt me Grand... 9r it is just 9rders from the Empress?" the mutant looked away, eyes downcast, away from the purpleblood's face. "Y9u claim t9 n9t like me 6ut y9u never really hurt me 6adly. I kn9w what y9u are and can d9 6ut y9u d9n't hurt me like that, 6ut y9u always make attempts t9 harm me...?" he continued, looking up as he finished. "d9 y9u want t9 hurt me 9r is it just an 9rder?"_

_"... Just motherfucking shut up mutant."_

_"Please Grand... tell me."_

_"Are you motherfucking crying?"_

_The smaller stiffened, blinking a few times to find he was crying his transparent pinkish tears. "S9-"_

_"I don't want to motherfucking hurt you... I pity you too much for that."_

_The redblood made a noise of surprise as he was captured in a tight embrace, his head on the purpleblood's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around him and shooshed his blabber kindly. His bright red eyes trailed to a corner of the room with a soft smile as if he could see their ghostly guest watching. The scene faded, leaving the pair in a small clearing. The older sat down, patting the ground next to him for the younger redblood to sit. Karkat sat down next to him, knees to his chest. "I'm n9t sure why y9u keep sh9wing up here... is s9mething wr9ng?"_

_"I don't know either... it just seems everytime I fall asleep I end up here."_

_"I see..."_

_"What exactly were you doing?"_

_"I can n9t freely m9ve thr9ugh the 6u66les s9 I can 9nly sit here and wait f9r guests 9r relive thr9ugh my life."_

_"... So you had a thing with the Grand Highblood?" Karkat asked._

_"... Umm well yes in a way," his cheeks were turning a soft red._

_"Been here enough you can't deny the fact you and he had some sort of relationship. You know you are really different from what I heard about you."_

_"Yes yes... I'm dead and n9thing's g9ing t9 change me anym9re, y9u h9wever are living. Why d9n't we talk a69ut y9u and y9ur life instead?" the older suggested._

_"... Fine," Karkat sighed._

_"Where shall we start... Y9ur matesprit? The game? The humans? mmm 9r y0u can make a suggesti9n t99."_

_"... Matesprit I guess... the game is at a dead end and the humans are long gone."_

_"I must say I'm a 6it surprised y9u ended up with the y9ung Makara."_

_"How did you know that?"_

_"I can read y9u like a 699k child."_

_"Shut up," Karkat growled with a huff._

_"He isn't as 6ad as y9u think," the older started._

_"I know the story, he told me everything... I don't need to hear it again."_

_"Everything?"_

_"... I think so..." Karkat didn't sound sure anymore. He stared at the ground, wrapping his arms tightly around himself._

_"Even what he did t9 the 9ther 9ne?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"The thing with the humans?"_

_"Yes."_

_"The new lives?"_

_"... What lives? What the fuck are you going on about now?" the younger growled._

_"The twin lives gr9wing n9w."_

_"What are you talking about!" Karkat demanded._

_"I d9n't kn9w the exact details... the y9ung Makara m9st likely d9es th9ugh."_

_"... Y9u are just d9ing this t9 be mysteri9us, fuckass..." the smaller growled._

_"N9."_

_"Yeah now spill what you know."_

_"There isn't time f9r that..."_

_Karkat looked down at his fading body and scowled. "Of all the fucking times for me to wake up!"_

The redblood blinked his eyes open, continuing to scowl. That fucking asshole. He blinked a few times, realizing he was alone. Gamzee wasn't in the room. He slowly shifted out of the bed, using the wall for support to guide himself to the door. He headed down the hall, following the muffled voices. The redblood did his best to keep quiet, he was curious about what they could be talking about him. Gamzee was careful to make sure he didn't hear what was talked about and guided him away if he found him listening with a firm scolding.

Karkat peeked around the corner into the room. A tall purpleblood was sitting on the ground with stitches over his smiling lips and white eyes, a smaller distracted looking yellowblood on his lap with a helmet. To their side was the blonde human with triangular shades and a white shirt. Gamzee was sitting, facing both of them. "Everything's going fine correct?" he asked.

"Everything's fine on our end," the human responded.

The taller purpleblood smiled and moved his hands in different symbols.

"EXCELLENT. Anything else to report?" The purpleblood and human both shook their heads 'no'. "YOU ARE BOTH DISMISSED THEN," Gamzee stated. Karkat quickly and quietly went back down the hall, he didn't want to get in trouble with his partner. He paused for a moment before calling down the hall like he just got up and wanted to know where he was. Gamzee came out of the other room, going straight to him and scooping him up in a warm embrace. The redblood hugged him back with a sigh. He wished he would have learned more about it all but Gamzee seemed excellent at censoring everything in a way he couldn't decode. The purpleblood was carrying him to the kitchen, sitting him down and going to work to make him something to eat.

"Gam..." Karkat started.

"Hmmm?" the purpleblood hummed, glancing back at him.

"I had this weird dream..."

"ABOUT?" Gamzee asked.

"Well I have been having the dreams for a while... but they took an interesting turn during my nap... I was talking to my ancestor... and he brought up something about twin lives growing... not sure what he meant but he mentioned asking you about it..."

"Hmmm," the purpleblood didn't really speak, just tapped his clawed fingers on the counter, blinking a few times as he thought about it.

"Gam-"

"I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING... it might be a future thing though, not a motherfucking past thing which is what I would know."

"..." Karkat nodded, looking down at the table he was at. Gamzee approached him, kneeling to kiss his head and hold him. The redblood pressed into him tiredly. He was pretty pathetic as of the late, spoiled and loved too. He couldn't say he hated it though.

Gamzee entered their shared room, frowning when he didn't see his lover resting in their bed. He checked the bathroom, no sign of him. He looked around some more, calling for him. His calls got louder and he panicked, rushing around. He looked all over, unable to find him. He was getting pissed. Then it dawned on him after his continued searches brought up nothing. They were _so_ fucking dead... uhh again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to bring back Grand and Signless for some fun xD and then to piss Karkat off
> 
> Anyway... any ideas where Kar is/who took him? Gamzee seems pretty mad. xD and what the 'twin lives' might be?
> 
> Next chapter, one of my fave characters shows up *squeals*
> 
> Also the next chapter might be the last chapter. Unless I get a bit crazy and write more than I think I will


End file.
